mile stones

It had been a while for me to sit down and blog, but I am going to give it a chance, not that anyone reads what I put but..I need to put it some place, as I am missing my sleep. what keeps you up at night you might ask well sit back and enjoy all my thoughts and feelings, I am sure I can use your advice and listening ears. I am turning 50 this year, yes 50 not that it is "old" or that my life is over but it is a mile stone per-say and has caused me to reflect on my past, and to look at a future, to make changes, and put choices away. therefore I am going to take the time to slowly sift through some things and pick out the gold aka things learned and throw the rest away. If I turn the number 50 years to 05, what was I doing at 5 well,I was making a life long friend, in my kindergarten class, playing with doll,s and sitting at my mothers feet as she was was folding laundry or cooking something wonderful, I can still smell the cinnamon rolls, the pie, the hot stews fresh dinner rolls and the list is endless. my Mother has been gone for a little over four years and still not a day has gone by without a thought of her or a memory of some lesson learned at her feet. Thanks Mom for teaching me that being alone does not mean you are lonely, she would say" go play with you brother of sister mommy will be okay", but I just could not leave her so I would go where I could here her, sometime she would sing and sometime she would cry, I never understood why, but I do now, that is the important thing Thank you for your listening ears today and letting me reflect on me as a little girl. I was silly and kind, I was still soft and I trusted, I still believed that all the problems of the would could be handled at moms feet. I am going to be a little kinder to day, and I am going to trust, and believe that in this world of war, sadness, and heartache. there is still soft places to be.

For those of you who know me, know I love AUTUMN, with Carmel Apples, Carmel Popcorn, spiced Carmel Apple cider drink from Starbucks, Ok so I love Carmel. Really the fall is a time that I look froward to, my birthday is over and the shock of getting older dealt with, and a renewed sense of I can do this...but really I do love the color changes in the mountains. This year Devin my first born grandson is on his way to pre-k. where does the time go.

I got new pictures of my grandkids, and thought I would let you take a look at what really puts a smile on my face everyday.

Braxton (Tom's Boy) Mckenzie & Devin (Shannon's kids)

She thinks her brother hung the moon!
What a smile this kid has.

Add Sugar !

When life gives you lemons then we make lemonade, simple enough I think! the problem that I have been facing in making my lemonade, is I have not added any sugar and have allowed myself to stay in this sadness, just for the last couple of day I have started to add sugar In that I mean smile, laugh , you know all the things that help make a person feel better. And it is working YEAH!
Life is funny as a child we see our worlds so different, white Pickett fences, blue birds singing and living in an apron just waiting to serve our love ones. THANKS to Disney we think life is this way. Let’s be honest, Snow White, Cinderella, Areal, and all the other’s had maids, cooks, housekeepers , and anything else there little heart desired , no wonder the birds wanted to go sing at their place heck I want to go sing at their place. Although my life in no way compares to this, I love it, and really would not change it at all (well maybe a few thing) but on a whole I am doing good and I am so grateful for the blessings that I have had, I would love to see one of these princess step in to my world. Come on Disney do that movie.
Have a great week and SMILE.

Family

Family is a strange thing to me sometimes. It is like there has to be a balance of good and bad. If that balance gets messed up, them things have to change. and no one likes change. I dated a guy that stated I was the bad seed in the family, I really thought that he was joking, maybe not.
I am sorry if this seems so negative, but really the only ones that read it wont care, so if you happen to come up on my blog SORRY for this.
When did family become a word of convenience.
When did I love you become, just words and not a feeling.
When is sorry enough.
when if forgiveness given.
and most important, why do all the people who is on your side, have to die.
I love my FAMILY. I am grateful for children that love me, even with out walking in my shoes. for a best friend that has been there for 40 years, (Thanks) and I am so thankful for the parents that I had

Happy Fathers Day !

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,

He called it ... Dad

My Dad is truly all these things, and I can say I am thankful for my father every day. Words really can not say how much I love him. I don't get to go see him as much as I would like, if I could I would go every day just for a hug, and to set at the kitchen table saying nothing,and looking out the window. Some of my best thinking has happened at that table. God Bless Fathers every where. May the fathers that I know have the best day. Tom , Chris,Brent,James, and to all the men I know that are not dads yet, Brandon I know you will be a great dad.
I love you all..

Pig in Mud

A couple of months ago, Stephanie and I were tired and did not want to do anything so we watched old TV shows on the computer, while sitting on the bed. We went to subway for lunch in the afternoon then went right back to doing nothing, but watching movies. We called this Pig in Mud and from that time on we have tried to recreate that day. We have had little success, until today we hope. Life gets so busy that we really do not take time to slow down and do nothing, to recharge our batteries. So I really wish all my friends out there a Pig in Mud day. Do nothing, place no time on what you do, and you will see what I mean Pig in Mud is the best thing to do on a rainy Saturday.

Motherhood its a wonderful thing...

*My Mom*

I had the best mom, warm cookies, big hugs and smiles, every day when I would come home from school that is what was waiting for me. She loved her family so much and gave all that she had to her family. I miss her smile, her laugh, her advice, her accepting of me for who I am and her ability to love me in spite of it … Mothers come in many different shapes and sizes. I truly believe that mothers never sleep. Once you have children, part of your brain stays awake listing for cries, for teenagers to come home from being with friends. I have to admit when I have my grandchildren over for a sleep over I get up just to watch them sleep.

My three daughters Stephanie, Shannon and Brittney, you are the best women and examples of mothers that any mom can ask for. You give your all, you love with your whole heart and you teach through example. I know Stephanie you are not a mommy yet but you have the skills to be a great mom and you will one day. I love you all so much.

Have a Happy Mothers Day!