mile stones

It had been a while for me to sit down and blog, but I am going to give it a chance, not that anyone reads what I put but..I need to put it some place, as I am missing my sleep. what keeps you up at night you might ask well sit back and enjoy all my thoughts and feelings, I am sure I can use your advice and listening ears. I am turning 50 this year, yes 50 not that it is "old" or that my life is over but it is a mile stone per-say and has caused me to reflect on my past, and to look at a future, to make changes, and put choices away. therefore I am going to take the time to slowly sift through some things and pick out the gold aka things learned and throw the rest away. If I turn the number 50 years to 05, what was I doing at 5 well,I was making a life long friend, in my kindergarten class, playing with doll,s and sitting at my mothers feet as she was was folding laundry or cooking something wonderful, I can still smell the cinnamon rolls, the pie, the hot stews fresh dinner rolls and the list is endless. my Mother has been gone for a little over four years and still not a day has gone by without a thought of her or a memory of some lesson learned at her feet. Thanks Mom for teaching me that being alone does not mean you are lonely, she would say" go play with you brother of sister mommy will be okay", but I just could not leave her so I would go where I could here her, sometime she would sing and sometime she would cry, I never understood why, but I do now, that is the important thing Thank you for your listening ears today and letting me reflect on me as a little girl. I was silly and kind, I was still soft and I trusted, I still believed that all the problems of the would could be handled at moms feet. I am going to be a little kinder to day, and I am going to trust, and believe that in this world of war, sadness, and heartache. there is still soft places to be.